The Storyteller

5:34pm: The Stampede to Facebook
Celebrities are using Facebook. Politicians and policymakers are using Facebook. Most of my wife's family uses Facebook. Many of my LJ Friends are moving to Facebook.

My question: when did this Facebook Revolution gain so much steam?

I mean, it wasn't that long ago that Facebook was nothing more than social networking for tweens. Not teens, who used MySpace. Not adults, who used LiveJournal if they had a blog at all. Just tweens.

I remember when an adult on Facebook was assumed to be a pedophile trolling for victims. Now I'm the last person on the Internet without a Facebook page.

I am so far behind.

8:53pm: Stupid people in large numbers
Driving in Tacoma the other day, I saw a demonstration about an upcoming referendum here in Washington, about gay marriage. These loops were protesting it, and pretty much all of them had signs saying 'Marriage = 1 Man + 1 Woman'.

And a wonderful, awful idea came to mind.

Next time I know one of those protests is gonna happen, I'm going to make a sign saying 'I'm Mormon, Marriage = 1 Man + 3 Women! Want to protect the sanctity of MY marriages?'

Not that I'm really Mormon, can't stand those hoopleheads, but if it would piss off the Fundies, I'll stop at nothing.

9:49am: Yes, let's show mercy to the scumbag killer
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32916157/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/

Aww, poor Romell Broom, being put through all that pain and anguish. His arm must have hurt just sooo bad. How can we, as a society, possibly want to see this poor soul put through any more...uhh...

Hey, wait just one goddamned minute! Isn't this piece of shit on death row for raping and murdering a 14-year-old girl? What's with all the pity and concern for him?

"I screamed," Broom said in the affidavit.

I'd bet your victim did too, you asshole, while you were violently raping her and killing her. You showed no mercy to her. Why in God's holy name would we want to show mercy to you?

5:02pm: Stop all that winning and excellence!
http://highschool.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=989089

Here it is again, the notion, supported by parents and the press, that young atheletes shouldn't be as good as they can be, because it might make the losers feel bad. Fans actually stopped cheering because they...get this...were embarrassed that their team was doing so well.

Good God, if my high school football team, the Chehalis Bearcats, could be on the giving end of such a rout, the celebration would last into the following Monday.

So the losing team felt shamed by their defeat. So play with more heart and skill next time. If a pro team lost a game 83-0, the coach's job would be on the chopping block, the first-string players would be benched, and the press would be saying that the losers needed a complete overhaul. They would not be berating the winning team for running up the score. Should whatever team is currently beating the Detroit Lions...the most useless team in professional football, possibly in any sport...feel bad? No, it isn't the winning teams fault that the Lions suck.

Back in August 2008 I posted about a kid who was banned from his Little League division because he was 'too good'. His undefeated team was disbanded. Seems their excellence was making everyone else feel bad. Now here we go again with the notion that the talented should apologize for their skill and stop making the inferior feel so...well, inferior.

Can anyone explain this insane mindset to me?

8:18pm: Can't anyone keep their mouths shut?
The last few weeks (if not months) have seen Republicans running off at the mouth, yet saying nothing. Their ignorant words have been a boon to the public perception of the Democrats. All the Left had to do was stay on topic and avoid stupid, inflammatory remarks.

And that was just too much to ask.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/09/15/congressman-says-some-people-arent-worth-peeing-on/

Pete Stark (D-California) tells someone at a Town Hall meeting that they aren't worth peeing on. Barney Frank (D-Massachusetts) tells a constituant that they are as dumb as a dinner table. Mean-spirited, needless insults and condesention when what is called for is calm, intelligent debate.

Now former President Jimmy Carter pipes up with the opinion that Rep. Joe Wilson's 'You lie' outburst was based on racism against President Obama. Was his outburst inappropriate to the venue? Yes. Was it based on false assumptions? From what I can look up, yes. But racist? All I heard was, 'You lie!', followed by an apology later. It's disingenous and just plain wrong to suggest that opposition to the President is, by definition, racism. Down that road we must not go. I await President Obama's response to Carter's inane accusation.

The economy is slowly on the rebound. The Afghan campaign may not be going well, but it is far from the meat-grinder debacle that Iraq became. The Republicans have no strategy, no plan, no unity. All the Democrats have to do is shut up. Will they? Will calmer heads prevail, will the Democrats maintain the moral high ground, at least public perception-wise?

Yeah, I wouldn't bet on it either.

11:52am: Eight years on...
Hard to believe it has been so long. Eight years since our world changed.

I remember that morning. My first wife and I were sleeping in a bit, as we'd been up late the previous night with a dog who'd just had puppies. We were awoken by a phone call from our friend Odessa, who asked if we were watching the news. I asked why we would want to be doing that.

Then she told me something that couldn't possibly be true.

I went to the living room to turn on the TV, certain that 'Dessa had flipped her lid big time. There was an image of what looked almost like the New York City skyline. But something was missing. And where there was something gone, there were pillars of smoke instead. It took a few minutes for what I was seeing to sink in. Then they showed the footage of the second plane hitting the second tower. Then they showed the Towers falling.

Then they showed it again. And again. And again.

I sat there stunned, while the further news of other attacks came in. The Pentagon, the very heart of our Military Intelligence, had been hit. Another plane had fallen in Pennsylvania.

They showed images of bodies in freefall, people who'd made it to the top of the Towers and saw their only way to avoid burning was to fall. The news channels saw fit to air these mass suicides.

As I wept for the deaths of innocent people killed for reasons we had yet to learn (and still can't fathom), my wife quietly handed me one of the new litter and said "Here...have a puppy." I looked at this little creature, who would never understand the horror we were beholding, who would never know such hate or insanity, and I envied the little guy.

I think the whole civilized world could have benefitted from having a puppy to cuddle that day.

Remember the ones lost that day. Honor the ones who went to the rescue. Support the troops fighting to prevent another such nightmare.

And tell those you love how much they mean to you. You never know when they might be gone.

11:39am: Some political commentary, if you can stand it.
So another Republican is in the news for being a loudmouthed obstructionist. Why is that news? Isn't that all they are anymore?

The Republicans used to have core beliefs. Whether you agreed with them or not, they had a value system that could be defined and debated with.

Those days are gone. The leading voices of Republican Conservatism are Rush Limbaugh (three divorces, drug addict, caught using someone's else's Viagra while in the Bahamas), Sarah Palin (defends unwed teen motherhood, former seperatist, lies with every word she utters, crazy as a sack of badgers), and Dick Cheney (fascist, believes in torture, only redeeming quality is his support of gay marriage, which puts him at odds with his party).

In short, the main voices of Conservatism are in complete oppostition to what the Right once stood for. The 'sancitity' of marriage, the drug war, ending the trend of unwed teen motherhood, and other supposedly middle American values.

Even the Republicans in Congress have forgotten their core beliefs. Their only voiced objection to Justice Sotomayor was that she might be a 'reverse racist'. They seemed surprised that accusations of racism coming from a bunch of rich white guys didn't catch the public's imagination. So they let her get the post, ignoring her proven opposition to gun rights. The Republicans, who once held the Second Amendment as their rallying cry, put up no fight at all in the name of freedom to bear arms. Again, a major core belief of the Right is left on the curb to be taken to the landfill.

Now they are simply obstructionists. They pose no solutions, they state no moral or ethical platform, they seek only to oppose any kind of change or reform. Until that changes, until the Right can define itself again and put forth solutions instead of negative rhetoric, they stand no chance of regaining power.

1:52pm: What the Hell is going on these days!?
Warning: more socio-political ranting ahead.

Here in the Northwest, a couple was found not guilty of manslaughter in the death of their daughter. Their bullshit defense, which by Oregon law wasn't supposed to be admissable, was that their faith din't allow them to go to doctors for illness, even though simple antibiotics could have saved the girl. A jury confirmed the notion that you can let your kid die of neglect, say "Jeeezus told me to do it', and in 21st century America, that is perfectly acceptable.

The story: http://www.nwcn.com/statenews/oregon/stories/NW_072309ORN-verdict-faith-healing-trial-LJ.6c82b440.html

I'd make further comment on this, but I'm honestly angry to near speechlessness.

Now to the legal case that everyone in the country is going off about. A black professor at Cambridge is arrested in his own home because one of his neighbors reported him as a burglar, and even after he proved who he was, some idiot cop thought he was too uppity. What's really stunning me is how many people are rising in defense of the Cambridge police. I've seen people online and on the TV news saying that, by getting angry with the police, Prof. Gates had it coming.

Even leaving out the race issue, is this where we want to be in America? The police can come and demand you prove you're not a burglar IN YOUR OWN HOME, and if you do anything but quietly hand over your ID and look at the floor in humble submission, you should be sent to jail? Expressing anger over false accusations is now an arrestable offense?

If we don't question those in authority when they are wrong, we are giving silent approval of a Fascist Police State.

More and more, I question what this country is becoming. We live in a society where lethal child neglect is excused, but talking back to a cop when you've done nothing wrong isn't excused. This is not America.

6:59pm: Have you heard of this thing called The First Amendment?
Evidently, the police in Wausau, Winsconsin have not heard of it.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090710/ap_on_re_us/us_upside_down_flag

So this guy flys his flag upside down (a distress sign) as a protest on Independence Day. Maybe not in the best of taste, as his protest was about a liquor license, but hey, it's still America, right? Right?

Maybe not.

Police go on his property and take away his flag. On the 4th of July, when we celebrate our freedom, his Constitutionally-protected Right to Free Speech was denied by the local Government.

This man is a Marine veteran of the Iraq War. If anyone has earned the right to protest, he has, by defending the rights of all people to live free.

It's not like he was burning the flag, or urinating on it, or publically shredding it. He was flying it inverted, a recognized, acceptable sign of distress. But it upset a few people, so his First Amendment rights were suspended.

Marinette County Sheriff Jim Kanikula should be fired. The deputies that carried out his order should be educated about basic Constitutional rights. And the people who complained need to learn that the rights of others cannot be ignored just because they are made uncomfortable by free expression.

This is still America, but if we sit still for this kind of crap, it won't be for long.

8:55pm: The Government will care for you, as you are too stupid to care for yourself
The FDA is mulling greater restrictions on acetaminophen, and an outright ban on Vicodin and Percocet.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31782102/ns/health-more_health_news/wid/11915773?GT1=31037

The reason for this is simple. A small number of people are too lazy to read OTC medicine labels, and some others knowingly abuse the drugs.

As a result, the majority of Vicodin and Percocet users, who take it with the recommended caution and need it for chronic pain, will be shit out of luck. Once again, a few stupid people damage themselves and the Government presumes we're all that damn dumb.

As an arthritis sufferer, I am truly appalled that the Arthritis Foundation supports the proposed limits. My guess is that the Foundation is not actually run by people with arthritis.

Why are the American people always judged by our lowest common denominator? Let's ban this item because one person in ten thousand was too fucking ignorant to read the instructions and managed to maim his idiot self. This crib, if not put together right, could kill a child, so let's ban it rather than punish the dingbat parent who was too lazy and stupid to assemble it correctly. After all, we can't punish stupidity, can we?

Umm...wait a minute. Why can't we punish the stupid instead of inconveniencing the 99% of us who aren't fuck-ups? If someone chooses to abuse Vicodin and his liver craps out on him, why punish the chronic pain sufferer who takes Vicodin properly? Why not just look at the abuser and say 'Told you so, jackass'?

Or does that just make too much sense for the Government?

6:45pm: Obama is making a ash of himself.
Coal ash storage sites are being classified and kept secret.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31327223//ns/us_news-environmentwid=18298287

Now, maybe I'm remembering wrong, God knows my memeory is sheer crap, but does anyone else remember Obama campaigning on promises of 'transparency of government'? I'm quite sure he said that, how about you?

Here again we see President Obama handing ammunition to the Republicans. Now let's see if they have the brains to use it. Hell, even one of Obama's fellow Democrats is questioning this.

As to why he would do this...well, he was all about 'clean coal' during his campaign, something that even I had a tough time buying. If the ash storage sites are classified, then environmental impact reports can't be done.

6:59pm: Our kids are not that stupid, no matter what the media tells you!
You know, I've about had it with all these studies that lament how very far behind American children are in their learning. That we rank anywhere from 12th to 24th (or lower) among industrialized nations in scholastic advancement. And the media reports it as if it were absolute, unimpeachable fact.

It brings to mind the wisdom of Benjamin Disraeli, famously quoted by Samuel Clemens. There three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Let me clue you in to a little-known secret about these studies. Among the industrialized nations that measure the educational levels of their young, we do one thing almost none of the rest do. We include our under-achieving students in the figures. From the 4.0 valedictorian to the kid who got a 0.0 in everything but Phys Ed, all are included in our studies.

Other countries, especially the Asian nations, include only what we would consider B students at the lowest. By somewhere in junior high years (by our standards) a lot of countries have weeded out their less capable students and sent them to trade schools or out into the fields as laborers. And yes, that still happens in the 21st century in most places that aren't America.

Are our schools having trouble with money issues and keeping good teachers during the financial hard times? Yes, no question. Are our students dismally behind in education, are they drooling idiots compared to those allegedly superior non-Americans? No. Our children are still among the smartest in the world, if the statistics be jettisoned and the truth be known.

So whenever you see the media carping on how woefully behind our kids are, or how our educational system has failed entirely, remember they are lying to you. They either have an agenda to push, or lying to the people has become standard procedure to the point they just can't help themselves.

3:03pm: Political Commentary, 1 June 2009
So here it is, the issue that will determine, come 2012, whether Obama gets a second term or if the Republicans regain control of the White House.

General Motors is filing for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy Protection. As part of GM’s restructuring, some of its shares will be owned by the Government. President Obama promises that, once the company is back on its feet, the Government will divest itself of its shares, selling them on the open market, hopefully giving the NYSE a boost when it happens.

The Republicans don’t like this one bit, and I have to admit, this is one Independent who agrees. When Government gains ownership of industry, the first step has been taken toward Socialism, just like good old Mother Russia back in the day.

If Barak likes the view from the Oval Office, he’d better see to it that his stated objective happens before the next Presidential Election.

It will play out one of two ways. The first scenario is that it all happens the way Obama predicts; GM comes out of it, their books go into the black again, and the Government sells its shares at a tidy profit, putting money in the State’s coffers while getting the heck out of private enterprise. The Repubs are shown to be obstructionists, crying wolf and applying the ‘Socialist’ label where it isn’t needed. The Right goes to the polls with egg on its face and defeat in its future.

Scenario number two, either GM is still on the rocks or it has gotten better but the Government hasn’t sold off its shares. Either way it works out the same; the Republican Presidential Candidate can accuse the Obama Administration of having and carrying out a provable Socialist agenda. The Right stands a strong chance of winning if everyone is looking at Obama and seeing a Hammer and Sickle.

Now, there will be other factors, to be sure. The progress of the war against al-Qaida, how Obama handles North Korea in the short and long term, judicial nominees, etc. But this is the one that will resonate the loudest. Obama took the Presidency by promising to fix the economy without resorting to outright Socialism. We will remember that promise, and hold him to it come 2012.

And, of course, the Republican Party needs to get back on message. They need to jettison the likes of Limbaugh, Coulter, Cheney, and Buchanan. It’s not that they need to veer away from the Right Wing entirely. But they need to engage people, not enrage them. Personal insults, petty sniping, and angry shouting will get them nowhere. Go after the policies, not the people. Show how Republicanism is the better model, rather that just say ‘Oh, them Democrats is wrong and evil!’ That’s how Reagan did it, that’s what works. Obama won by capturing the spirit of JFK; the Right needs to recapture the spirit of Ronald Reagan if they want to regain power. Before they can regain the White House, they must regain the confidence and trust of the American people. If the Republicans stay where they’re at now, they’ll lose, and they will deserve to lose.

3:13pm: Memorial Day Remembrance
Back when I was about 15 years old, I went to the cemetery with my Dad on Memorial Day. He was putting flowers on the graves of his mother and father. As we went back to the car, he noticed a grave that was all but obscured by a bush that had grown over it. Enough of the stone showed that he recognized it as a veteran's grave.

Pulling some branches back, he saw that it was someone he had known when he was young. He remembered a big kid named Marion Vermeer, a tall, muscular young man who made sure that the local bullies left the kids of his neighborhood alone. He'd been a quiet boy with a friendly disposition. When the Japanese decided to roll the dice and attack Pearl Harbor, Marion had tried to sign up right away, but had to wait until he was old enough.

He joined the Marines, and all the kids from the neighborhood said that the Japs were in for it now, with Marion coming after them, he'd show them what Americans were like when riled. He served at the Battle of Peleliu with the First Marine Division. He then went with that Division to the Battle of Okinawa.

According to accounts of his death, he'd barely gotten his rifle prepared to fire before a Japanese bullet killed him. He fell on 25 May 1945.

Years later, his grave lay all but forgotten. His family had moved on or passed away. Dad was not about to let this man go unremembered. He grabbed some clippers out of the trunk of the car (my Dad's trunk is a little like Batman's utility belt or Santa's bag; whatever you want or need is magically there) and started hacking back the bush.

The sexton of that particular graveyard, a loudmouth little town crazy, came out intending to yell at my Dad about how he wasn't allowed to do that. Evidently, he was used to people respecting his authority just because he had a reputation as a troublemaker. Dad was less than impressed. He lit into the fool, accusing him of dereliction of duty, telling him that the man under that headstone was an American hero, and it was disgraceful to see that some idiot had let the grave be overgrown. He said that if that bush wasn't gone the next time he came, he'd contact that American Legion, the local VFW, and the Marine Corps if that's what it took.

Next time we went there, on the following Veteran's Day, the bush was gone, and Private Vermeer's grave had recently been polished.

Ever since then, on Memorial Day and Veteran's Day, I go there to make sure the grave is in good condition and to put a flag there. It's a tradition I'm passing along to my kids. This fallen veteran is not just another name; he was a man known to my Father. Dad was proud to have known him and called him friend. He will not be forgotten.

3:50pm: So, the Government needs money, hmmm?
I have some ideas.

1) Legalize marijuana and opium...With these two on the market and available (pot sold at liquor stores, opium available through prescription from your Primary Care Provider), the market for harder stuff will see a slight drop, and the War on Drugs can stop spending money trying to eliminate drugs that are provided by nature. Not having to lock up people for Marijuana (not to mention freeing those in jail for pot crimes) will free up prison space. Between the savings in reducing the drug war and the revenue from taxing pot and opium, the boost to the economy will be something to see.

2) Force Christian Churches to obey Matthew 22:21...The Christian Church in America has become an increasingly political animal. They tell their congregants to vote for particular cantidates (usually right-wing Republicans), they protest such ideas as treating gays like regular people and letting women make personal medical choices. Basically, they want buy-in to the political world. I say, let them have it. All they have to do is stop ignoring one of Christ's specific teachings. 'Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's.' If Jesus wanted people to pay their taxes to a tyrannical, invading government, surely he would want his people to pay taxes to a Government that allows them all the rights and priveledges they ask for. Make them pay back taxes just going back 10 years and the State's coffers will be full.

3) Congressional Pay Cuts...Now, I don't suggest that our Federal Representatives and Senators should work for minimum wage. But right now, rank-and-file congresspersons pull in $174,000 per year. With 435 Representatives and 100 Senators, that's $53.5 million per year, and they all get six year terms. And that's just what average congressmen get, not high-ranking memebers of committees or lifelong Senators like Kennedy. Face it, if you think Ted Kennedy or Hillary Clinton are only bringing in $174,000 per year, you're dreaming.

I propose a pay cut to $100,000 per year, regardless of seniority or influence. And make them pay their staff out of that money. Now, I know the savings would be nothing compared to the money the Federal Government is used to dealing with. But we're in an economy where every little bit helps. We're asked to make sacrifices, and we're about to the point of taking most of the bank managers and many of our elected officials and sacrificing them on a bonfire. Maybe having to take a big old pay cut of their own would give them some insight into what Americans are dealing with.

It's not about the money...it's about sending a message.

9:49pm: Oh, that's just GREAT!
So my treasonous immune system has failed me again, and I have what I hope to God is just a bad cold. Sore throat, phlegmy cough, sinuses clogged, recurring headaches, and feeling generally like death warmed over.

I check out my local newspaper's website and see that the first confirmed case of Swine Flu in my county has been diagnosed. Do I have great timing, or what?

Now, I know that the media has blown the whole thing way out of proportion, but with any flu outbreak, the at-risk people are the very young, the very old, and...cue ominous music...those with compromised immune systems. At almost 40, I'm neither a neonate nor an elder, but that last factor? I'm the poster child for crappy immune systems.

If I wake up with a snout and a curly tail, I'll let ya all know.

11:31am: The New Star Trek…
As a lifelong Trek fan, my initial opinion of the new film is…it freaking ROCKS!

Note that I call myself a Trek fan rather than a Trekkie or Trekker. This is because I see Star Trek as an entertainment, not a lifestyle or a religion. If you don’t take Trek canon too seriously, this film will blow you away. If you’re one of those who think Star Trek is the be all end all of your life…the film might just do you in.

Warning: Spoilers under the cut.

( The Final Frontier )

Beam yourself to your local cinema and enjoy! I give it 9 out of 10 stars.

5:24pm: Mad Pride
It seems there is a movement afoot to get people with mental illnesses to embrace and celebrate their conditions rather than seek a cure or treatment. In case you think I'm making that up, here's an article from Newsweek:

http://www.newsweek.com/id/195694

Now, is it just me, or does this seem like a Really Bad Idea? I'm all for the social stigma attached to mental illness being removed, but this is taking it too far. Being psychologically imbalanced is not a lifestyle choice. The person who is the subject of the article is schizophrenic; while yoga and avoiding caffine and sugar may help for awhile, as sure as the tides rise and fall the day will come when he has an episode where me might hurt himself or someone else. Does his right to embrace his differences give him the right to be a potential danger to society?

A comparison is made with the Icarus Project to deaf activists who refuse cochlear implants, who instead embrace their deafness and have even accused the medical establishment of trying to eliminate 'deaf culture'. Again, I wish I was making this up. I first heard about deaf activism from an episode of 'ER', and I thought that the writers had gone too far this time. Turns out the movement is real. As someone who has been disabled all his life, I cannot for the life of me understand the notion that being handicapped is a lifestyle. I'd give five years off the end of my life to be normal, to not have joint pain, to see perfectly, to not have an immune system that either goes overboard or gives up the fight entirely.

Being disabled, either physically or mentally, does not make you an X-Man! Trying to treat or cure your condition is not attempted genocide! Treating your mental illness is not mind control!

Maybe I think this way because I support the idea of Transhumanism (the use of genetic engineering and cybernetics to improve the human condition). Maybe it's because I have common freaking sense.

Opinions?

10:50pm: The dog lived, so it's funny...
For your consideration, the epic tale of Tinker Bell, the Amazing Flying Chihuahua!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090428/ap_on_fe_st/odd_chihuahua_touchdown

Brings to mind what comic Ron White said about hurricane-force winds; the problem ain't THAT the wind is blowing, it's WHAT the wind is blowing.

What would have made this story perfect is if someone had gotten it on film, then 'shopped a red cape on the dog. Look, up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's...SUPERWIENER!

And come on, with a name like Tinker Bell, the dog was destined to fly. She'd still be up there, but she must have lost her happy thoughts. Or hit a tree, whatever came first.

As if the story couldn't be weirder, they found Tink using a pet psychic. Oy vey. Yes, I'm reading the dog's thoughts now, she's thinking 'OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED AAAHHHHH!'

Hand to God, it'll be weeks before I get the image of a Chihuahua flying though the air out of my head. Tinker Bell survived, so that makes this the funniest news story I've seen in years.

11:04am: Happy Easter!
Yes, today we celebrate the day that Jesus came out of his tomb and brought everybody little chocolate crosses. Or maybe he saw his shadow and went back in, indicating two thousand years of gross stupidity. Something like that.

Saw a sign the other day that made me wish I had a portable readerboard so I could make a rebuttal. The sign said 'Without Jesus there would be no Easter.' My response would have been 'There would instead be Ostara, where we celebrate Spring without someone having to die first.'

Along with all the chocolate eggs and bunnies at WalMart, I saw actual chocolate crosses for sale. Being the sick, twisted, delightfully sacreligious person I am, I have a great idea for future chocolate crucifixes: put an actual chocolate Jesus on them, with rasberry filling so he actually bleeds from his hands and feet when you poke him! Yes, some Christians will call it blasphemy, but as sure as the sun rises in the east, they would sell by the millions, with Pagans loving the blasphemy and holy-rolling hellfire and dalmations Christians saying that the spirit of Gawd is in the candy or some damned thing.

Anyway, enjoy the holiday. And remember, there was an Easter before there was a Jesus, so grab the chocolate and colored eggs and celebrate!

9:10pm: Open mouth, insert whole damn leg
Years ago, I read a humorous commentary (I think by Dave Barry) that theorized the Oval Office had a Stupid Ray secretly installed in it. Otherwise intelligent men would be elected to office and get zapped, turning them into idiots.

It still works, apparently. Must be good equipment, sitting unused and unneeded for eight years, but the Oval Office Stupid Ray has struck again.

Bad enough that a sitting President would go on the Tonight Show in the first place, but to make a supposedly funny remark about the Special Olympics? That's cold. Not to mention low.

His most ardent defenders will no doubt point out that he was attempting to make fun of himself. The comment was about his own bowling skills, or lack thereof. He said his abilities in that sport were "like the Special Olympics or something." White House mouthpieces have said the comment wasn't meant to offend. Intended or not, it was very offensive. And a press release from the White House staff ain't gonna cut it.

Taxpayer money going to bank executives. Our Navy ships being harassed by the Russians and Chinese without any significant response from the White House. Now jokes at the expense of the mentally disabled. I had such hope when Obama was elected, now that hope is all but gone.

12:12am: Steroids rant
I've been offline for awhile because my computer's motherboard went bye-bye a couple weeks ago. And, of course, since I had no outlet for commentary, all kinds of irritating stuff came up in the news. For now I'll focus on just one topic: steroids in baseball.

Alex Rodriguez came out of the steroid closet, and baseball fandom is shitting its collective pants. Now, I'm no huge fan of baseball; my local team is the Seattle Mariners, and it's hard to get worked up for a team that strives so hard to be utter crap. Still, I enjoy an occasional game, and sometimes even work up a half-assed interest in the World Series. So I say this in total sincerity.

Who the hell gives a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut if baseball players, or any other type of athelete, uses performance-enhancing drugs?

Look, the fans come out to see not just a good game, but to see records broken. They want to be able to say 'Yeah, I was there when A-Rod scored his 10,000th home run'. They don't just want to see the same thing season after season. And the hard truth is that there is a limit to what even the best physical conditioning and endless hours of practice can achieve. The fans aren't willing to wait for human evolution to breed the Perfect Athelete, so to fill the stadiums, today's sports stars have to start finding new ways to improve their perfomance.

And enough already with the whole asterix* next to the records of those who took steroids. You want to put a mark next to every baseball player who used some kind of drug? Then your asterix button is gonna be worn out. Care to guess how many of the revered sports heroes of yesteryear were jacked on speed? Or a good hard snort of cocaine? Hell, in the days of Babe Ruth, a good portion of the players came onto the field with enough alcohol in their systems to kill a horse. (OK, Jack Daniels ain't exactly a performance enhancer, but it still kind of follows; how good a batter did you need to be if the pitcher was seeing double?)

And while I'm on a tear about drugs and sports, how about that Michael Phelps dude? Oh my GAWD, we can't have him as a role model, he took a drag of marijuana! The horror, the HORROR! Why, no good can ever come of such a person...whoa, wait a damn minute here, haven't our last three freaking PRESIDENTS been guilty of drug use? What's the deal with poor Phelps being turned into a whippin' boy for the anti-drug crowd? It was just POT, for heaven's sake, something that ought to be legalized anyhow. Taking a toke in no way changes the fact that he is an impressive athelete.

More commentary on news and media bullshit to come. Stay tuned.

5:51pm: I should get paid for my predictions
OK, way back on September 3rd, when Sarah Palin was still kind of new to the National scene, I put forth the theory that Palin got the VP nomination so that when Obama won the election, the blame could fall to someone other than McCain. At the time, it sounded like a bit of an out-there conspiracy theory.

Now it seems I'm not paranoid, I'm a visionary.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/11/06/campbell.brown.palin/index.html?iref=newssearch

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Politics/story?id=6202218&page=1

Yes, the long knives have come out, and Palin is on the cutting board. What a shock, eh?

12:05am: And here I was hoping for Bogart...

Your result for The Classic Leading Man Test...

Jimmy Stewart

You scored 21% Tough, 0% Roguish, 52% Friendly, and 29% Charming!

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9:18pm: Amazing! An intellectually stimulating online quiz...

Your result for What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test...

Simple, Progressive, and Sensual

20 Ukiyo-e, 10 Islamic, 12 Impressionist, -28 Cubist, -32 Abstract and 18 Renaissance!

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